Happy New Year? Britons among the most pessimistic in the world

May I suggest the following tried and tested remedies:

  1. Create more money out of thin air to employ more social workers, employment advisers, counsellors and admin assistants.
  2. Outsource manufacturing so we can focus on game design, PR, advertising, research for big multinationals and gangster rap.
  3. Encourage immigration to bring in new skills such as smiling and learning the Subway (TM) menu off by heart.
  4. Increase benefits to help single mothers procreate and survive without any need for a father figure in the house.
  5. Boost funding for the psychiatric industry to explain all behavioural disorders as genetic aberrations.
  6. Drive property prices up in London so landlords can make a killing out of housing benefit.
  7. Define all opponents of the above policies as dangerous xenophobic extremists.
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